A Family Of Mine Own

My baby loves The Beatles!

I know I know, its hard to believe but the little one does. It all started with an article, "can your baby learn in the womb?". To save you the boring back and forth, they don't know, surprising huh! They did talk about how some women play Beethoven or Bach for the baby and believe that it makes them smarter.

It got me thinking to what my parents did. The played everything! They would experiment to see what I would move around more to, and what would make me relax. So I decided that it is not too early to start introducing the little one to the differences in music. Of course starting with the Beatles.

If you like the Beatles or not, you have to appreciate how they change music. Sorry you non-Beatles fans, but its the truth!

Back to the story. The love album was playing in my belly when all of a sudden I felt a nice swift kick. Yes I said kick! Not one hard enough that you could feel it from the out side my insides diffidently felt it. I checked the I pod really quick and I want to hold your hand was the track that was playing.

I'm taking it as a sign.

I'm pregnant!

Yes, Chris and I are very very excited! I am 15 weeks pregnant this week. The first few months was well, harsh. I was really sick for a while, but I'm finally feel amazing. I'm really enjoying being pregnant now. I think I'm starting to nest. I have a list in my head of everything that I feel like I need to get done. Its funny I know I have five more months before the baby even gets here but, I want to do everything now!

But, then again that is my personality!

We had a sonogram at 8 weeks and got to hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks. I'm just ready to find out if its a boy or a girl!

Well, here's the first baby bump shoot.



I'm a bit bigger now. I promise I'll have more pictures and the sonogram up soon!

It feels so good to stretch my fingers and do alittle keyboard dancing!
Life had gotten so crazy, I finally have time to process everything and start purging it out. We all know what the means!

NEW BLOG!

It amazes me how in this day and age, we get all of our emotional thoughts and junk out by uploading it in pretty little sites where others can see them if they want or not. I believe mostly not. Its like speaking to your dolls when you were little you think they listen to you but they don't.

I think thats how blogging has become. There are some many out there voicing there ideas, thoughts, emotional baggage, and learning experiences but, I wonder. Who is really listening?

Are we reaching around the globe to from friendships with others?
Or are we just reaching?

For example. My facebook.
I have hundreds of friends. But would you even call them friends? Does it not say something when we have friends and "facebook friends"? When did facebook become a category we place people?

How truly deep are we? Can we get past the computer screen and actually form relationships with people?

Or has our generation killed community?

True community! Not the online community for cat lovers, or Buffy Fan. But honest, loving, transparent community. A community where we reach in deep and know everyone we call friend personally. We know their inner workings, their fears, the last time they cried, and what keeps them up at night. We know there ugly parts but, love them anyways. That kind of community.

It reminds me of when a friend of mine said he didnt feel like he really knew me because he had never seen me ugly. He had never seen me show my inner flaws.

In a world were we can delete the bad pictures, and chop people out of our lives with one click of a mouse what does friend really mean? Are we really able to show our flaws, our hurts, our hangups? Or do we just blog about them, knowing very few will care enought to read it. We feel like we are opening up sharing with the world.

But, we lie to ourselves.

Tonight my heart feels heavy. Its sadden and feels almost like its moving slowly. I have this pesky little need to please, well everyone. I try to be everything I can for everyone I can. I want to be the best friend, the best wife, the best life group leader, church member, volunteer I can be. I problem is, I cant.

I want so desperately for others to just be proud of me. It gives me an identity. Now not in a prideful way, but like I have worth. I take it personally when I don't get the phone calls from friends, when people don't show for group, or when I feel over looked.

It makes my heart heavy.

I just have to remember that God is proud of me. More proud of me than anyone can ever be. I work hard to have a relationship with Him. I work hard on growing as close to Him as I can humanly get. I am significant to Him.

Does it still hurt when people don't show. Yes. It hurts because I give all of my self to everything I do. Every relationship, every event, every thought. I am just the kind of person that gives my all every chance I can.

But, I do it for no one but God. So my heart is not going to be heavy. It's going to be joyful because I was asked to do everything like I am doing it for my Savior, my God! I am going to give as much passion, heart, and love that I can. If it hurts it hurts!

I rather experience pain, heartache, disappointment, or sadness than ever be numb and live a life of motions not emotions! Where's the heart in that?

About a week ago our home flooded. Badly. There was about a foot and a half of water sitting in the down stairs. Fun was had all around!

Its been an interesting time, thats for sure. The craziest thing is how much I have learned, and how much God has shown us this past week. I know I've said this before but, we have AMAZING friends! We have had amazing friends that have opened there homes up to us. I don't know where we would be with out these people.

I just wanted to tell them thank you and I love you guys!



ps... we got a home, we cant move in for another week, but we have a home!

I wanted to share with you guys my favorite bible story!

One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.

When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, "Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...." He said to the paralyzed man, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, "We have seen remarkable things today."

Luke 5:17-26

Today has been an inspiring day! I love days like this, its like you wake and feel like you suddenly grew three feet. Its amazing, I feel so confidant in who I am. Its very refreshing from the last few weeks.
On top of it I feel like I'm getting my muse make! I feel inspiration everywhere. Its very empowering. On top of it all this inspiration makes me feel so close to God, like I'm sitting right beside Him. Its an over whelming feeling.

I deleted people from my facebook, and totally closed my myspace. It was great being on this kick. I decided that I don't need to be "friends" with everyone who had ever came across my path! Amazing thought huh!? So if you got deleted, its not for a lack of care, more of a need to simplify!

On a lighter note!

I've been married for 208 days!



Just wanted to share!